The method I used to help people overcome low self esteem is called Clean Language. The facilitator (me) helps a client explore what’s happening for them. We focus mainly on what they would like to have happend and resources that help that. The Clean Language method is so good at focusing on the good stuff and the exploring that helps find the good stuff, that powerful results can happen.
I won’t be blogging about self-esteem any more but I continue to develop my skills at Clean Language which can help in a variety of areas. If you have an issue you’d like to work on, you are welcome to contact me and we can talk about me or another coach using Clean Language to help you.
Harald Rothermel, www.awaykening.net, gives feedback on a one hour session of Clean Language, which was the second time we’d spoken.
Clean Language session with brian birch 30-11-2011
“about my experience with Clean Language:
I was really surprised by how effective this work is. my impression is that through the process I am totally focused with myself, the facilitator supports this through Clean Language. the absence of tips and suggestions lets me be focused in that, that is really me.
it´s like going along a way directly into the center of my problem/challenge. and then simultaneously a way out of it shows up. in my case a very concrete way that inspires me to walk along. and also one that is my size and sort of made for me by me, with the indispensible help of the facilitator.
I have the idea for a long time already that the secret is in simplicity. I see Clean Language as a very simple and uncomplicated way of coaching and focusing in what the person really wants, I mean exactly what the person wants. it helps to stay conscious with myself all the time.
in other coaching tecniques I´ve experienced I go often into my head and check aspects and ideas with my head, but in truth it´s not my mind that knows what is right and proper for me, it´s my heart, and that´s where Clean Language kicks in.
about brian:
yesterday I received empathy from you [Brian used the technique of Non-Violent Communication with Harald for 30 minutes] and I was delighted by how you asked me things or needs that I might fulfill that were actually what I want. in the end the I had come up with a concrete strategy to change the circumstances that are painful at the moment.
today in the Clean Language session you conducted me through the difficulty I have been experiencing and into a new perspective and doable, concrete way out of it. I am m really keen on training, in fact, I am doing it already….
I could experience how you were present and focused in the process going on. I see a great capacity of Clean Language being of useful service to people.”
About 2 weeks later:
hi again. going to bed now. good noght. i am fine by the way. yours and joshuas contributions were just so valuable to my life. thank you.
Brian Birch says
I learned almost all my Clean Language from the Clean Change Company. I have thoroughly enjoyed the training and am impressed with the expertise with which Wendy Sullivan has taught us. I was able to facilitate Harald based on what I learned from Wendy’s courses. If you would like to learn how to facilitate or coach using Clean Language, I recommend starting with joining Wendy’s taster teleclass.
If you’re overcoming low self esteem, how do you know you’re getting value for money?
Be enthusiastic. Remember the placebo effect – 30% of medicine is showbiz” Ronald Spark
For a medicine, coaching or any intervention to be scientifically valid, it must be proven to work. Roughly 30% of people can be convinced that a pill or intervention works then nothing special is happening. Sugar pills, impressive certificates on the wall and convincing presentation can seem to work wonders for us.
For coaching, a four part test I use is:
- did you like it?
- did you learn something?
- will you use it?
- will you benefit?
This at least is a way to criticise personal development methods that promise the earth but have little benefit. It’s not a perfect test, but it’s right to be critical of interventions to be sure that we are not being duped. Has your mood changed? Would someone else notice changes in behaviour? Now we’re starting to demand evidence and get value for money.
So if you’re overcoming low self esteem, I hope that helps you know you’re getting value for money.
People on Twitter said:
- RT @KingChiefAlot44 girls wit low self-esteem..I cant do nothin fo ya..If u dont love yaself, nobody can and I aint gone waist my time tryin
- #GayFact Most gay relationships don’t work because It involves two men,with huge ego’s that act like two women with low self esteem [see separate blog post]
- Think self-esteem only effects yourself? Read how many changes for yourself can help others as well [AboutWisdom1]
- i don’t wanna be go out with someone if they’ll leave me anyway.
i don’t know how to deal with it my very low self esteem - at first i found yr lack of confidence to tell me how u feel cute.. but now it’s just plain ANNOYING!
Brian says
So people see a strong link between low self-esteem and relationships. When we address our low self-esteem issues, it helps the relationship too. The benefits are there and for some people it’s about how to raise self esteem. I hope this website helps. Let me know what else I can do to make it bettter.
