The method I used to help people overcome low self esteem is called Clean Language. The facilitator (me) helps a client explore what’s happening for them. We focus mainly on what they would like to have happend and resources that help that. The Clean Language method is so good at focusing on the good stuff and the exploring that helps find the good stuff, that powerful results can happen.
I won’t be blogging about self-esteem any more but I continue to develop my skills at Clean Language which can help in a variety of areas. If you have an issue you’d like to work on, you are welcome to contact me and we can talk about me or another coach using Clean Language to help you.
If you’re overcoming low self esteem, how do you know you’re getting value for money?
Be enthusiastic. Remember the placebo effect – 30% of medicine is showbiz” Ronald Spark
For a medicine, coaching or any intervention to be scientifically valid, it must be proven to work. Roughly 30% of people can be convinced that a pill or intervention works then nothing special is happening. Sugar pills, impressive certificates on the wall and convincing presentation can seem to work wonders for us.
For coaching, a four part test I use is:
- did you like it?
- did you learn something?
- will you use it?
- will you benefit?
This at least is a way to criticise personal development methods that promise the earth but have little benefit. It’s not a perfect test, but it’s right to be critical of interventions to be sure that we are not being duped. Has your mood changed? Would someone else notice changes in behaviour? Now we’re starting to demand evidence and get value for money.
So if you’re overcoming low self esteem, I hope that helps you know you’re getting value for money.
I am a self-esteem life coach and I use simple questions and your words to ask about your story, like in the questions above. Sooner or later it creates insights and you can see your opportunities and choices. It’s easy to reject other people’s advice. Sometimes you may not trust yourself. But if you keep looking for what’s true, you’ll soon experience the best your life can offer.
I’ll ask you to follow / friend me on one or all of these:
I changed career from accounting and consulting because I enjoy coaching and believe I have the skills to coach people to get what they want. I liked what I did well enough and I worked successfully for the world’s biggest banks and insurance firms, but once I discovered coaching, it became more and more what I wanted to do.
Am I qualified?
Coaching is still a fairly young industry and there is no global standard. I’m an affiliate member of the Association for Coaching, demonstrating that I abide by a code of ethics.
I qualified as an Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner in 2006. My course was longer and more in-depth than many short courses available. This allowed me a lot of time to develop my skills. I trained with what is now Field Learning.
I mainly use Clean Language as a method and qualified as a facilitator in April 2009. it uses open questions and few assumptions to focus very deeply on what’s happening for you. It’s all about you and can be extremely engaging. I use this technique mainly because I always feel it can address the issue, whereas other techniques can leave the client with some intellectual understanding but little emotional involvement or change.
I have several hundred hours of coaching, including paying clients, former work colleagues and training peers.
What else do I do?
It’s important to take care of my continuous professional development and the legal side of things in order to offer a professional service.
I’m fully insured.
My coaching is subject to UK law, not any overseas territory.
I’m active at monthly Practice Groups.
I get supervised regularly, currently monthly. This helps me improve my skills and deal with any difficult or ethical issues.
I listen back to recordings of my work to analyse them and improve where I can. This allows me to spot further opportunities for understanding clients.
I have presented on coaching techniques at two coaching conferences.
And Self Esteem?
I use excellent coaching methods to help people raise their self-esteem. I know about self-esteem by reading, talking to people and offering plans to deal with their issues. My authority comes not just from knowing what affects many people, but after talking to you, very quickly being able to show what your patterns are. I prefer not to use a fixed model that expects your feelings to follow your thoughts. Once you tell me what’s happening for you, we can discover together what causes what, what we’d like to change and what context is relevant. Because this is personal and customised uniquely to you, I believe it is more powerful than any technique I’ve seen.
What do other people say?
You can read my testimonials here. I’m particularly proud when people achieve more in a session with me than years with other helpers.
I’m seeing mixed reports about Lady Gaga. Is she looking to overcome low self-esteem?.
Twitter and gather . com report:
- Lady Gaga suffers from low self-esteem regarding her looks – and want [sic] to fix this with surgical operations; including everything from cheek implants, boob job to thigh and ass lift. Allegedly she spends hours every day in front of the mirror – and is very depressed because of this. Reports say she never slows down – even when she relaxes – and people are worried about her.
Metrolyrics . com reports form a year ago:
- She said: “You know I am totally confident about my talent, I am totally confident that I am an incredible artist and performer. I have complete faith in myself in so many ways, absolutely.” She added to Britain’s more! magazine: “I love the way I look, I am extremely confident about my body, the way I dress, the way I want to look. But I have no confidence when it comes to men.
They don’t seem consistent. Does she suffer from Bad Romance or are the Paparazzi telling us stories with a Poker Face?
So it’s not clear to me what the truth is and I’m left with the question: If you aren’t feeling great about how things are going for you, should you opt for plastc surgery?
Let’s break all that down a bit. What exactly isn’t going well?
- there may be a part of the cycle where you look in the mirror;
- a part where you think certain negative thoughts about what you see;
- you remember unkind things said about you;
- you predict things won’t work out well with men (or women);
- you have annoyed or anxious feelings; and
- you feel bad about having those feelings.
- you are self-critical about yourself (low self-esteem)
Now if you have all these things, that may be a hard cycle to get out of. An important point is that there is more going on here than skin blemishes. Your memories, predictions, thoughts and feelings are coming into play. Will plastic surgery fix those?
There are physical and medical risks and there are also risks to it not fixing the confidence cycle. If someone or you yourself picks on the most negative thing about you, then after surgery, you’ll still hear the most negative thing about you. if you don’t know what the cycle is, you’ll go around that loop for a long time.
The following introduction is designed to help you understand the cycle and address it. As a guy, I don’t understand make-up. I see the end result, whether it’s in a champagne bar on a Friday night or Lady Gaga on tour. I don’t understand the process of different layers, brushes and powders. You know it all happens in steps, however many they are. I can’t tell you the steps to applying make-up, but I can work with you to slow down and understand the self-esteem and confidence cycle. By looking at each part, it’s easier to say, “is this what I choose to happen now”? By catching yourself doing things, it’s possible to think, feel and discover what happens at each stage in the cycle.
Don’t go gaga, contact me and overcome low self-esteem.
I coach people to overcome their low self-esteem and achieve what they want in their life.
I’ll keep with you as you discover your situation and the associated feelings, thoughts, bodily sensations and metaphors. We’ll discover blocks, impasses and then new experiences, hidden help and resources. For me, when I get coached in this work, the end result is like a weight being lifted, walls being broken down, being a giant or having unlimited energy like the sun. I love the metaphors and the feelings associated with them. I’m certified in this technique, attend practice groups and get supervised to continually build my skill. Clients have talked about entering a new garden, shining sunshine where there was cold shadow and a beautiful calm lake. You’ll discover your own metaphors. All I’ll assume is that you’d like something new to happen and that’s it’s okay to work with simple questions so I can follow what’s going on for you. We will agree how to work together and how not to; what my role needs to be and what you need to be like. It all begins with “What would you like to have happen?”.
Here are comments from clients and other people I have coached.
“Emotionally, something moved, rearranged. Before I felt invisible. Now I feel I bring sunshine into the room and am capable of brightening up a girl’s life.” (Paraphrased)
Student, Lancashire.
Contact Brian Birch on phone number is 020 8816 7343 or 07703 176167 (UK).
